Helen B. Aitken

Humor is everywhere. It's contagious, and I like to spread it around. 
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Southern Living

The Blue Lagoon and My Glasses

Nov 09, 2024 by Helen B. Aitken

Iceland’s Blue Lagoon and My Glasses

I visited Iceland in October. It was extraordinary. One of the unique features to experience is the geothermal pools, which are found in several places across the island. Naturally, these become tourist attractions, and the most famous is Blue Lagoon, and I spent several hours there.

The facility had refined their spa treatment procedures into a fine science: registration for all the amenities at a higher price than if booked online elsewhere, an electronic bracelet that locked and opened your locker, a person handling out a folded white terry robe too small to belt, an open changing station with one bench that’s shared with six other women, and shower stalls that don’t lock- why would they? Scandinavian and European countries don’t mind seeing naked bodies of all shapes. Sadly, I avoid looking at my body at all costs. And I hate to think that someone would be subjected to see it. Trust me, I look better in the dark.

Imagining that I was alone in the dressing room, I got through the “naked” thing and dressed in swimming shorts, a top, and a rash guard long-sleeve shirt appropriate for beach and boat wear for North Carolina. It was probably equivalent to the bathing costumes of the 1920s.

Everyone had to shower, wash their hair, and use a conditioner before entering the water. I also left my cane attached to my Nike water shoes and robe at the entrance, then met my son, Will, to enter down a ramp into the water. The air was frigid, and the wind picked up. I ducked under quickly and was rewarded with very warm water.

Geothermal water filled the lagoon’s basin, creating the strangest water I’ve ever been in; it was a cloudy light blue. Moving from place to place within the pool, the temperature changed dramatically from bathtub warm to almost a steaming hot tub. It was heavenly. Since my son and his friend ditched me, after receiving a complimentary glass of sparkling cider. I was alone to wander among the smooching couples and familial groups until I found the elixir of the lagoon- the mask area. In a kiosk overhanging the water was a technician spooning out facial mask products. She saw my bracelet and gave me a spoonful of black goo.

“This is a lava mask. It will exfoliate your skin. Spread it over your face and wait two minutes before washing it off.”

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A Model Child

Sep 07, 2024 by Helen B. Aitken

I volunteered at the Emerald Isle Recreation Center for the Day 4 Kids event today, sitting behind a table for the Friends of the Western Carteret Public Library. Our goal was to reach out to parents and make them aware of the library programs and how the Friends support the library, and we provided a word search for young and older children to complete. If they found 2 words, they would receive a bookmark and a coupon for a free book at our Second Chances used bookstore at the library.

One child who approached the table was a beautiful little girl with long blonde hair and wearing a white cheerleader uniform. Rather than circling the words, she drew circles, squares, and squiggly lines on the margin.

I asked, “How old are you?”

“I’m two.”
Her brother stood beside her and actively worked on the word search without glancing at her. When I looked up, her mother wasn’t standing with her. I scanned the gymnasium, and she was nowhere to be found.

The little girl realized her mother was also gone and asked, “Where’s mommy?”

I replied, “I don’t know.”

The little girl panicked. She looked all around her, calling “Mommy.” When she didn’t find her mother, she left the table and headed to the table manned by the local Police Department. She approached a policeman and said, “Where’s mommy?”

She grabbed his hand, and they walked together around the gymnasium until she spotted her father. Once assured that she wasn’t alone, she returned to our table and picked up the pencil to work on her word search.

Several minutes passed, and my imagination went into overdrive with the possibilities. Before I could talk to the policeman, Mommy appeared. She had gone to the restroom but failed to mention it.
I’m thankful she came back!

I explained how her daughter had acted by going to get the policeman, and she wasn’t surprised. At two years old, this little girl knew who to trust.

If only I could reverse that gray hair I got from worrying

Fry Baby Fry

Sep 02, 2024 by Helen B. Aitken

My favorite food group is fried. French fries, onion rings, okra, summer veggies, founder, and green tomatoes. Don’t forget the fried mozzarella sticks, ice cream, and Twinkies.

I’m Southern. What can I say?

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Humor is everywhere. It's contagious, and I like to spread it around.